Myths and Truths about Teens

Society often treats teenagers as if they’re a problem to be solved, but the reality is that we have to prepare them to solve our problems.

At the Y our mahi centres on positive youth development – whanake taiohi pai. We view rangatahi through the lens of development, using their strengths as a springboard for achievement and reaching their true potential.

The teen years are a time of opportunity and astonishing growth. Teen brains are growing at a pace matched only by the first three years of life and never to be approached again. Rangatahi are expanding their ability to relate to others, and their capacity to navigate new social situations is solidifying. The knowledge gained and lessons learned during adolescence enable them to reach their full potential in adulthood.

Our youth development mahi has given us insight to a few myths and truths about young people. We’d like to encourage all the people in our rangatahi’s lives – parents, grandparents, caregivers, teachers, the wide variety of decision-makers – to re-frame their thinking about the “conventional wisdom” we hold about rangatahi. Let’s change the narrative of how we view our young people.

Myth:  Rangatahi do not care what adults think, and are uninterested in what their parents think, say, or do.

Fact:  Rangatahi care deeply about their parents and want their involvement in their lives. They usually view their parents as role models and want to please them. Parents are the most influential people in their teens’ lives.

Myth:  Rangatahi do not care much about what they learn. They would rather hang out with friends and have fun.

Fact:  Rangatahi are super learners – especially in this phase of astounding brain development. We need to give rangatahi opportunities to expand their knowledge and support their problem-solving skills.

Myth:  Rangatahi are driven by emotion, so it is hard to talk sense into them.

Fact:  Rangatahi can be as thoughtful as adults. However, the emotional centres of their brains are growing faster than the thinking and reasoning centres. Teens do their best thinking when they are calm, so it our job as adults to model emotional regulation as well as respectful, calm conversations.

Myth:  Rangatahi think they are invincible and are wired for risk.

Fact:  Rangatahi are natural explorers. Their desire to try new things is key to them gaining new knowledge, and their tendency to push boundaries and explore limits is because that is where new knowledge exists. They don’t seek risk and want to avoid danger, and thus need guidance about how to expand their knowledge and skills safely. Parents and others can help this process by sharing what they’ve learned through their life experiences and also by setting clear boundaries beyond which rangatahi must not stray.

Myth:  Rangatahi are self-centred and selfish.

Fact:  Rangatahi are idealists who see what is wrong in the world and want to do something about it. We rely on them to envision a better world. We should amplify their voice when they call attention to problems we have ignored for far too long.